Mark Twain Quotes, Lying Quotes, Dollars Quotes

God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. ("In God we Trust") is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Dollars Quotes

Names are not always what they seem.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Labyrinth Quotes

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Heart Quotes

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Recovery Quotes , Animal Quotes

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Men Quotes

Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Government Quotes , Mind Quotes

Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Old Habits Quotes , Steps Quotes

I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Horse Quotes

There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Doors Quotes

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Blank Quotes

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Tails Quotes

An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , New Orleans Quotes , United States Quotes

Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Vapor Quotes

Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Barbarians Quotes

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Science Quotes

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Happy Quotes

There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vanity Quotes