Mark Twain Quotes, Home Quotes, Piano Quotes

When you want genuine music -- music that will come right home to you like a bad quarter, suffuse your system like strychnine whisky, go right through you like Brandreth's pills, ramify your whole constitution like the measles, and break out on your hide like the pin-feather pimples on a picked goose, -- when you want all this, just smash your piano, and invoke the glory-beaming banjo!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Piano Quotes

He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ties Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world is grievously given to lying.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , People Quotes

We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.

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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.

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It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.

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You can't reason someone out of something that they weren't reasoned into in the first place.

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Congress: America's only true criminal class.

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No man is straitly honest to any but himself and God.

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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone

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You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Lying Quotes

How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death; and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brave Quotes , Danger Quotes

What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Use Quotes , Wages Quotes

If I had been helping the Almighty when he created man, I would have had him begin at the other end, and start human beings with old age. How much better to start old and have all the bitterness and blindness of age in the beginning!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Age Quotes

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.

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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

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Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Years Quotes