Mark Twain Quotes, Children Quotes, Vegetables Quotes

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Vegetables Quotes

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Inspirational Quotes

If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.

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I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Differences Quotes

...ignorant as the unborne babe! ignorant as unborn twins!

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Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Song Quotes , Law Quotes

It is easy to see that the inventor of the heaven did not originate the idea, but copied it from the show-ceremonies of some sorry little sovereign State up in the back settlements of the Orient somewhere.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Ideas Quotes

Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly - a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

Experience comes from bad judgment.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Learning Something New Quotes , Hiking Quotes

My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Animal Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Might Quotes

I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Soap Bubbles Quotes , World Quotes

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Hair Quotes

I love to revel in philosophical matters-especially astronomy. I study astronomy more than any other foolishness there is. I am a perfect slave to it. I am at it all the time. I have got more smoked glass than clothes. I am as familiar with the stars as the comets are. I know all the facts and figures and have all the knowledge there is concerning them. I yelp astronomy like a sun-dog, and paw the constellations like Ursa Major.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Stars Quotes

Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Believe Quotes

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

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If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Honor Quotes

The writing begins when you’ve finished. Only then do you know what you’re trying to say.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Trying Quotes

I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Together Quotes