Mark Twain Quotes, Way Quotes

There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Way Quotes

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , 4th Of July Quotes

To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence, is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself...Anybody can have ideas--the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Light Quotes

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Hot Quotes

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Tails Quotes

You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Bed Quotes

The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pride Quotes , Vanity Quotes

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Exercise Quotes

She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and gentle exterior burned inextinguishable fires of sympathy, energy, devotion, enthusiasm, and absolutely limitless affection.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Fire Quotes

The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Self Respect Quotes

When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fire Quotes , Order Quotes

People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Reading Quotes

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Patriotic Quotes , Fighting Quotes

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Motivational Sports Quotes

It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Age Quotes , May Quotes

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome; in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Weather Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

The English are mentioned in the Bible; Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Blessed Quotes , Earth Quotes

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Life Quotes , Age Quotes