Mark Twain Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Utterance Quotes

Custom is, to think a handsome thing in private but tame it down in the utterance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Utterance Quotes

Every man is wholly honest to himself and to God, but not to any one else.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Men Quotes

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Night Quotes

There is no security in life, only opportunity.

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Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suffering Quotes , Body Quotes

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Luck Quotes , Target Quotes

We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Success Quotes , Men Quotes

Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Watches Quotes

It now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one...the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Men Quotes

All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vanity Quotes , Metrics Quotes

Life is short, break the rules.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Is Too Short Quotes , Life Is Short Quotes

Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them destroy them? For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution--these can lift at a colossal humbug,—push it a little— crowd it a little—weaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand. - "The Chronicle of Young Satan," Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Blow Quotes

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Fighting Quotes

I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world is grievously given to lying.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , People Quotes

Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Neat And Tidy Quotes , Soul Quotes

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Order Quotes , Plot Quotes

It was the most earnest ambition I ever had....Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never occurred to me that a preacher could be damned. It looked like a safe job.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Ambition Quotes