Mark Twain Quotes, Doors Quotes, Weather Quotes

Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.

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There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.

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Whatever you say, say it with conviction

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The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A journalist is a reporter out of a job.

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It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

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Children have but little charity for one another's defects

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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.

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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries; it is only when we set out to discover "the secret of God" that our difficulties disappear.

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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

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Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.

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I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

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Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

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Experience is an author's most valuable asset; experience is the thing that puts the muscle and the breath and the warm blood into the book he writes.

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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.

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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

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When you catch an adjective, kill it.

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The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

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Faith is believing things you know aint true

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