Mark Twain Quotes

Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.

6 years ago

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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses; never, I believe, by people.

6 years ago

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The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.

6 years ago

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Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.

6 years ago

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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.

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Every person is a book, each year a chapter.

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the rumors of the White Sox demise are greatly exaggerated.

6 years ago

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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.

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... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.

6 years ago

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I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven- [He lapsed into deep thought, trying to figure nine times seven. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer to him.] I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. After that I am uncertain, and I can't manage a statistic.

6 years ago

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Learning to play two pairs is worth about as much as a college education, and about as costly.

6 years ago

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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be

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Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs a million.

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Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Whatever you have lived, you can write & by hard work & a genuine apprenticeship, you can learn to write well; but what you have not lived you cannot write, you can only pretend to write it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hard Work Quotes , Writing Quotes

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

6 years ago

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I never write "metropolis" for seven cents when I can write "city" and get paid the same.

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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

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As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all sins, take them in rotation (there are only two or three thousand of them), stick to it, commit two or three every day, and by and by you will be proof against them. When you are through you will be proof against all sins and morally perfect. You will be vaccinated against every possible commission of them. This is the only way.

6 years ago

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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Community Quotes , Lazy Quotes