Mark Twain Quotes, Civilization Quotes, Pioneers Quotes

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Pioneers Quotes

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Sound Quotes

There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Interesting Quotes

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Vegetables Quotes

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Sassy Quotes

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Men Quotes

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Fiction Quotes

The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence; but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Blessing Quotes

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Two Quotes

Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Differences Quotes

Strange is the man who practices his religion.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Practice Quotes

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Home Quotes

None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pay Quotes , Favour Quotes

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friends Quotes , Community Quotes

That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Long Quotes

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Bullying Quotes