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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.
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- We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.
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- A German joke is no laughing matter.
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- You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year.
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- There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
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- If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.
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- I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well.
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- Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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- The partitions of the houses were so thin we could hear the women occupants of adjoining rooms changing their minds.
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- God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand -- but He reserves vengeance for His very own.
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- We like to read about rich people in the newspapers; the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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- Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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- Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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- Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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- The water is clearer than the air, and the air is the air that angels breathe.
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- All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.
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- Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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- You cannot have all chiefs; you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
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- Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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- The Moral Sense teaches us what is right, and how to avoid it-when unpopular.
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