Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Well, I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Humor Quotes , Wish Quotes

When you turn your heart and your life over to Christ, when you accept Christ as the savior, it changes your heart.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Heart Quotes , Humor Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Humor Quotes , Fire Quotes

Please don't kill me!

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

There ought to be limits to freedom.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Texas Quotes

Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

Our priorities is our faith.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Priorities Quotes

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Clouds Quotes

She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal - Antonio.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

It is one of the great goals of my administration to invigorate the spirit of involvement and citizenship. We will encourage faith-based and community programs without changing their mission.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Goal Quotes

I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Race Quotes

I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Ambition Quotes , Humor Quotes

You'll hear people say it's racist to test. Folks, it's racist not to test. Because guess who gets shuffled through the system oftentimes? Children whose parents don't speak English as a first language, inner-city kids. It's so much easier to quit on somebody than to remediate.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Children Quotes , Humor Quotes

It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it's appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people's lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national - really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Humor Quotes

Wit is cultured insolence.

5 years ago

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Humor Quotes , Insolence Quotes

The fact that he relies on facts - says things that are not factual - are going to undermine his campaign.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes