Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Past Quotes, Yesterday Quotes

YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

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Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

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Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

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moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

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KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

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ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

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Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

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OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

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Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

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The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.

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Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.

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ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.

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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

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TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

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Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

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