Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Clouds Quotes

DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Clouds Quotes

Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Needs Quotes , Cows Quotes

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Graduation Quotes

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Teenage Quotes

In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Forgiving Quotes , Indifference Quotes

Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Giving Quotes , Advice Quotes

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Reflection Quotes , Experience Quotes

FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Teacher Quotes , Boys Quotes

Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Pride Quotes , Sound Quotes

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Religious Quotes

MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Animal Quotes

CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Graduation Quotes , School Quotes

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Party Quotes , Grandmother Quotes

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jealousy Quotes

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Tyrants Quotes , Weakness Quotes

Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Ears Quotes

Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ideas Quotes , Substitutes Quotes

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Writing Quotes , Character Quotes

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Success Quotes , Thought Provoking Quotes

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Function Quotes