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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
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- pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
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- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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- The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
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- MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
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- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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- ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
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- ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
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- A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
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- Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
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- Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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- REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.
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- Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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- REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
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- EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.
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- PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
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- LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.
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- Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.
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