Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Beauty Quotes, Heart Quotes

The creator and arbiter of beauty is the heart; to the male rattlesnake the female rattlesnake is the loveliest thing in nature.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Heart Quotes

According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Numbers Quotes , Adults Quotes

LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Women Quotes , Tree Quotes

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , America Quotes

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Missing Quotes , Sound Quotes

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Independent Quotes , Men Quotes

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Passion Quotes , Soul Quotes

Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Cheating Quotes , Peace Quotes

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Money Quotes , Pockets Quotes

FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Science Quotes

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Crazy Quotes , Pride Quotes

Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Flower Quotes , Color Quotes

alone, adj. In bad company.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Solitude Quotes , Bad Company Quotes

POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Police Quotes , Protection Quotes

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Blood Quotes

art, n. This word has no definition.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes

An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Air Quotes , Civilization Quotes

DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Disorder Quotes

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes

The bold and discerning writer who, recognizing the truth that language must grow by innovation if it grow at all, makes new words and uses the old in an unfamiliar sense has no following and is tartly reminded that 'it isn't in the dictionary' - although down to the time of the first lexicographer no author ever had used a word that was in the dictionary.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Innovation Quotes , Lexicographer Quotes