Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Errors Quotes, Brain Quotes

Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.

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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.

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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

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REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

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Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.

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LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.

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Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!

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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one

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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

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NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.

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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

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POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.

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A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner, I wish you to create something that would justify them. The world is all created,said God, but you have overlooked something

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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

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