Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Religion Quotes, World Quotes

INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.

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Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

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BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.

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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.

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NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

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I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , Science Quotes

War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

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An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Air Quotes , Civilization Quotes

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

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PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

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DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

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WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

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LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.

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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Political Will Quotes , Greed Quotes