Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Yankees Quotes, Europe Quotes

YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.

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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

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The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

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WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

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FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.

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Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

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Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.

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BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.

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If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.

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Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

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resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.

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Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.

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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

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RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.

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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

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A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

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Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

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