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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
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- An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.
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- REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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- Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.
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- WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
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- VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
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- Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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- MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.
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- IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Sitting Quotes
- RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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- Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
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- MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.
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- Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
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- LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".
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- Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
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- Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
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- WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
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- resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
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- ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.
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