Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Change Quotes, Feel Better Quotes

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.

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OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

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ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

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REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.

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CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

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optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

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DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

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The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.

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GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

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OBSTINATE, adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.

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REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.

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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.

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LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

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What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.

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Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

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Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.

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