Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Peace Quotes, Government Quotes

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

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TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

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MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Office Quotes , Purpose Quotes

REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Strong Quotes , War Quotes

RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Filters Quotes , Noses Quotes

The place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of their liberty and peace by a male and a female fool.

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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

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Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , War Quotes

Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.

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Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

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The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ambition Quotes , Men Quotes

MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.

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FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

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I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , People Quotes

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Suicide Quotes

LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

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The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

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INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Justice Quotes

LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Spiritual Quotes