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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
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- IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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- Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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- Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".
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- Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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- predicament, n. The wage of consistency.
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- Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
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- FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
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- MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.
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- Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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- DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
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- PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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- Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
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- Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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- Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
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- The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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- Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
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- Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
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- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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- GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.
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