Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Beach Quotes

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

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Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peace Quotes , Government Quotes

PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.

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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

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NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Neighbor Quotes

Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.

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Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.

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It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

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When you doubt, abstain.

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A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.

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CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

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The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.

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The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.

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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

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There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

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I think I think, therefore I think I am.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Math Quotes , Thinking Quotes