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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Virtue Quotes
- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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- Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.
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- NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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- PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.
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- REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
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- TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
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- Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
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- Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.
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- EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
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- RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
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- NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.
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- HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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- RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.
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- KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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- Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
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- Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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- A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.
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