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Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes 192
- The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I'll tell you how I'd like to be remembered: As a black man who won the heavyweight title - Who has humorous and who never looked down on those who looked up to him - A man who stood for freedom, justice and equality - And I wouldn't even mind if folks forgot how pretty I was.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Freedom Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The sky was of the deepest blue, with a few white, fleecy clouds drifting lazily across it, and the air was filled with the low drone of insects or with a sudden sharper note as bee or bluefly shot past with its quivering, long-drawn hum, like an insect tuning-fork.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
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Tags : Abraham Kaplan Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Stories Quotes
- My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Uncles Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Animal Quotes
- But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- ... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes
- Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill allow me to call him so' you vill understand, sir, that that means, 'if he vill allow me to keep up that 'ere pleasant and uniwersal fiction.'
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Party Quotes
- "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I am not an economist. I am an honest man!
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Purpose Quotes
- Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eating Quotes
- A joke is a very serious thing.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes