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Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes 192
- Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Doctors Quotes
- "Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Beer Quotes
- Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- We (The British) have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Ocean Quotes
- To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A joke is a very serious thing.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- Talkers are no good doers.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Silence Quotes
- April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes
- One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Athlete Quotes
- Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- ...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- ... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes