Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Life Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Communication Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspiring Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt fort.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Kings Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It's a legal fiction, my dear sir, nothing more."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.

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Tags : Anne Frank Quotes , Girl Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Education Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A God who cannot smile, could not have created this humorous universe.

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Tags : Sri Aurobindo Quotes , God Quotes , Humorous Quotes