Winston Churchill Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I'll tell you how I'd like to be remembered: As a black man who won the heavyweight title - Who has humorous and who never looked down on those who looked up to him - A man who stood for freedom, justice and equality - And I wouldn't even mind if folks forgot how pretty I was.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Freedom Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He hadn’t a single redeeming vice.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vices Quotes

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Happy Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt fort.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Kings Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Men Quotes

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud; not the soldier's which is ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is politic; nor the lady's, which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these: but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Nice Quotes , Humorous Quotes