George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Mean Quotes

Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

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Kings are not born: they are made by artificial hallucination.

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A serious illness or a death advertises the doctor exactly as a hanging advertises the barrister who defended the person hanged.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Doctors Quotes , Serious Illness Quotes

Optimistic lies have such immense therapeutic value that a doctor who cannot tell them convincingly has mistaken his profession.

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Tradition will accustom people to any atrocity

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For the pre-Darwinian age had come to be regarded as a Dark Age in which men still believed that the book of Genesis was a standard scientific treatise, and that the only additions to it were Galileo'a demonstration of Leonardo da Vinci's simple remark that the earth is a moon of the sun, Sir Humphrey Davy's invention of the safety lamp, the discovery of electricity, the application of steam to industrial purposes, and the penny post.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Book Quotes , Dark Quotes

English is the easiest language to speak badly.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Language Quotes

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Life Quotes , Marriage Quotes

The one point on which all women are in furious secret rebellion against the existing law is the saddling of the right to a child with the obligation to become the servant of a man.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Children Quotes , Motherhood Quotes

Poverty does not produce unhappiness: It produces degradation.

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Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

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I have found, after a good deal of consideration, that the best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for Him here.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Garden Quotes , Religion Quotes

What we are confronted with now is a growing perception that if we desire a certain type of civilization and culture we must exterminate the sort of people who do not fit into it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Civilization Quotes , People Quotes

The politician who once had to learn to flatter Kings has now to learn how to fascinate, amuse, coax, humbug, frighten, or otherwise strike the fancy of the electorate.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Kings Quotes , Fancy Quotes

Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.

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I tell you that as long as I can conceive something better than myself I cannot be easy unless I am striving to bring it into existence or clearing the way for it.

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Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.

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Consciousness of a fact is not knowing it: if it were, the fish would know more of the sea than the geographers and the naturalists.

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Man is the only animal which esteems itself rich in proportion to the number and voracity of its parasites.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Men Quotes , Animal Quotes

Science can never solve one problem without raising ten more problems.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Science Quotes