Adam Carolla Quotes, Comedian Quotes

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

5 years ago

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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

5 years ago

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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

5 years ago

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

5 years ago

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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

5 years ago

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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

5 years ago

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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

5 years ago

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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

5 years ago

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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

5 years ago

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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

5 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

5 years ago

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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

5 years ago

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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

5 years ago

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My first car was a motorcycle.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes