Adam Carolla Quotes, Important Quotes, Ability Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Sex Quotes

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Podcasting Quotes , Form Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Women Quotes

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes

I am not a good cue card reader.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mystery Quotes , Motto Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Annoyed Quotes , Time Travel Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Focus Quotes , Saving Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I know everything because I know nothing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes