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Adam Carolla Quotes 142

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

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People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

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5 years ago

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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

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5 years ago

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