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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes
- When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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- When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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- Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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- Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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- The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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- If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes
- If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Joy Quotes
- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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- Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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- Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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- It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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- When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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- I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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- I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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- All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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- Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.
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- Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.
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- Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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- I know everything because I know nothing.
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