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Adam Carolla Quotes 142

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

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6 years ago

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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

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6 years ago

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I don't know anything about computers.

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6 years ago

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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

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6 years ago

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People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

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6 years ago

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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

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6 years ago

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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

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6 years ago

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

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6 years ago

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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

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6 years ago

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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

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There are certain things women are better at than men.

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Don’t do your best, do my best.

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My first car was a motorcycle.

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6 years ago

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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

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6 years ago

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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

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6 years ago

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My motto is "more mystery, less history".

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6 years ago

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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

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6 years ago

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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

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6 years ago

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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

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6 years ago

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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

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6 years ago

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