Adam Carolla Quotes, Names Quotes, Feelings Quotes

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Names Quotes , Feelings Quotes

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

My first car was a motorcycle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

6 years ago

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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hollywood Quotes , Connections Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

6 years ago

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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes