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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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- I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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- All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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- I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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- Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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- I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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- If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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- My first car was a motorcycle.
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- When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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- I get depressed at airports.
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- People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
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- When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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- I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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- Welfare is monetary methadone.
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- Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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- If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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- I'd never hurt another person.
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- If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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- Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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- He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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