Adam Carolla Quotes, Strong Quotes, Thinking Quotes

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Strong Quotes , Thinking Quotes

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , July Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Names Quotes

I am not a good cue card reader.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Emotional Quotes

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Lazy Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Guy Quotes , Needs Quotes