Adam Carolla Quotes, Beautiful Quotes, Art Quotes

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Art Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Republican Quotes , Used Quotes

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Bridges Quotes , Done Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

I am not a good cue card reader.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes