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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
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- The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
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- A journalist is a reporter out of a job.
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- Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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- When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.
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- The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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- Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
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- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
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- Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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- A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
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- You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.
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- We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
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- All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.
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- Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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- The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
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- The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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- The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
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- If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
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- By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
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- Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.
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