Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The editor of a newspaper cannot be independent, but must work with one hand tied behind him by party and patrons, and be content to utter only half or two-thirds of his mind . writers of all kinds are manacled servants of the public. We write frankly and fearlessly, but then we "modify" before we print.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Independent Quotes

All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Fur Quotes

If books are not good company, where shall I find it?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Good Company Quotes

Heroine: girl who is perfectly charming to live with, in a book.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Book Quotes

You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grateful Quotes , Dark Quotes

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Rising Quotes

...ignorant as the unborne babe! ignorant as unborn twins!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Ignorant Quotes

It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time he piles a new one on top of his to threaten our light. There is no limit to this soundness but the sky.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Light Quotes , Sky Quotes

Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Interesting Quotes

When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Miles Quotes

The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Silence Quotes , Progressive Quotes

He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Envy Quotes

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Witness Quotes

I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Blessed Quotes , Yesterday Quotes

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Mind Quotes

A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bears Quotes , Dozen Quotes

A better idea than my own is to listen.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ideas Quotes

The primary rule of business success is loyalty to your employer. That's all right as a theory. What is the matter with loyalty to yourself?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Loyalty Quotes , Business Success Quotes