Mark Twain Quotes, Boers Quotes, Firsts Quotes

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boers Quotes , Firsts Quotes

If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Giving Quotes

On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.

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Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Cat Quotes

Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Persons Quotes

Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Men Quotes

We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Oysters Quotes , Ants Quotes

The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Animal Quotes

Ignorance is not, not knowing something. It is knowing what isn't so.

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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Humanity Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.

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It is a worthy thing to fight for one's freedom; it is another sight finer to fight for another man's.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fighting Quotes , Men Quotes

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Beer Quotes

Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed; one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tired Quotes , Reason Quotes

I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.

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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

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Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

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An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

Ours is the "land of the free"-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Land Quotes , People Quotes