Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

[Do you worry unnecessarily about the future? Remember most fears are just False Evidence Appearing Real. Don't let unfounded fears rob you of the joys of life or you too will say...] There has been much tragedy in my life; [and] at least half of it actually happened.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Worry Quotes

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Giving Quotes , Furniture Quotes

I do not like work even when someone else is doing it.

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He does not care for flowers. Calls them rubbish, and cannot tell one from another, and thinks it is superior to feel like that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Flower Quotes , Thinking Quotes

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Use Quotes , Truth Is Quotes

Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Learning Quotes , Science Quotes

They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes , Lips Quotes

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Friendship Quotes , Exercise Quotes

But old fools is the biggest fools there is.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Calling Quotes

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Money Quotes

The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Eye Quotes

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Joy Quotes

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Awards Quotes

To one in sympathy with nature, each season, in its turn, seems the loveliest.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Turns Quotes

At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sea Quotes , Clothes Quotes