Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Relationship Quotes

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

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The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.

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The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

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Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

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The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

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All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Educational Quotes

In America, we hurry-which is well; but when the day's work is done, we go on thinking of losses and gains, we plan for the morrow, we even carry our business cares to bed with us...we burn up our energies with these excitements, and either die early or drop into a lean and mean old age at a time of life which they call a man's prime in Europe...What a robust people, what a nation of thinkers we might be, if we would only lay ourselves on the shelf occasionally and renew our edges!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Mean Quotes

It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

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We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.

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A healthy and wholesome cheerfulness is not necessarily impossible to any occupation.

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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Memories Quotes

It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

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Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

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What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension.

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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.

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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.

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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes