Mark Twain Quotes, Discovery Quotes, Talking Quotes

I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Discovery Quotes , Talking Quotes

If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Men Quotes

To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religion Quotes , Atheism Quotes

If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nails Quotes , Hammers Quotes

When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Book Quotes

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Ideas Quotes

No one has ever seen a Republican mass meeting that was devoid of the perception of the ludicrous.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Perception Quotes , Republican Quotes

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Pioneers Quotes

It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Bears Quotes

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Arbitrary Quotes

The Bible is a wonderful book; you can prove anything you want with it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Want Quotes

Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sick Quotes , Firsts Quotes

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Honor Quotes

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes

It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pity Quotes