Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Anniversary Quotes

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Promise Quotes

There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Civilization Quotes

[N]o country can be well governed unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their minds that they are the guardians of the law and that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution, nothing more.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Government Quotes

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Animal Quotes

I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Gold Quotes

I'm in favor of progress; it's change I don't like.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Progress Quotes

One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Criticism Quotes

Whatever you say, say it with conviction

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Conviction Quotes , Over Confidence Quotes

a fully belly is little worth where the mind is starved.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mind Quotes , Littles Quotes

Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Renaissance Quotes , Republic Quotes

It's so damned humiliating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , History Quotes

You may say organize, organize, organize; but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hard Work Quotes , Organization Quotes

The Mississippi River will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Engineering Quotes , Skills Quotes

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Children Quotes

Dance like nobody's looking.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Sound Quotes

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Appreciated Quotes

The writing begins when you’ve finished. Only then do you know what you’re trying to say.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Trying Quotes

It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes