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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself; who frowns upon crimes yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon Himself; and finally with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship Him!
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Responsibility Quotes
  • Every man feels that his experience is unlike that of anybody else and therefore he should write it down-- he finds also that everybody else has thought and felt on some points precisely as he has done, and therefore he should write it down.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Men Quotes
  • All publishers are Columbuses. The successful author is their America. The reflection that they-like Columbus-didn't discover what they expected to discover, and didn't discover what they started out to discover, doesn't trouble them. All they remember is that they discovered America; they forget that they started out to discover some patch or corner of India.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Successful Quotes , Reflection Quotes
  • There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Doors Quotes
  • Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bible Quotes , Girl Quotes
  • Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Fiction Quotes
  • My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territory--an office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and dignities of Treasurer, Comptroller, Secretary of State, and Acting Governor in the Governor's absence. A salary of eighteen hundred dollars a year and the title of "Mr. Secretary," gave to the great position an air of wild and imposing grandeur. I was young and ignorant, and I envied my brother.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brother Quotes , Book Quotes