Mark Twain Quotes, Running Quotes, Kings Quotes

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Kings Quotes

When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than another man or he works harm to his cause.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Men Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

What is the real function, the essential function, the supreme function, of language? Isn't it merely to convey ideas and emotions? Certainly. Then if we can do it with words of fonetic brevity and compactness, why keep the present cumbersome forms?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Ideas Quotes

Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Strange is the man who practices his religion.

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Let your joy be unconfined!

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The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Blessed Quotes

A "classic" is a book that everybody praises but nobody has read

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Classic Quotes

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

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Taking the pledge will not make bad liquor good, but it will improve it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Abstinence Quotes

Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.

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France has usually been governed by prostitutes

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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

That is the way of the scientist. He will spend thirty years in building up a mountain range of facts with the intent to prove a certain theory; then he is so happy with his achievement that as a rule he overlooks the main chief fact of all-that all his accumulation proves an entirely different thing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Mountain Ranges Quotes

Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Civilization Quotes

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes