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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
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- I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.
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- My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.
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- We like to read about rich people in the newspapers; the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
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- If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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- My interest in my work dies a sudden and violent death when the work is done.
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- If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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- Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
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- The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year.
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- If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.
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- Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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- The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
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- You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.
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- There is nothing more frustrating than a good example.
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- I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
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- If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.
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- Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.
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- Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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- I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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