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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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- I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.
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- I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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- There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
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- The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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- There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.
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- [N]o country can be well governed unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their minds that they are the guardians of the law and that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution, nothing more.
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- ...fry me an optimist for breakfast.
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- It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
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- The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it.
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- Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
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- The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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- If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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- Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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- Truth is such a precious article - let us all economize in its use.
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- Delicacy - a sad, sad false delicacy - robs literature of the two best things among its belongings: Family-circle narratives & obscene stories.
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- By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home."
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- Warm summer sun, shine kindly here.
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- Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
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- Tough times teach trust.
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