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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
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- The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten
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- I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
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- I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
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- Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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- If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
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- To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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- He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
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- France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
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- The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood. Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Who discovered that there was no such thing as a witch - the priest, the parson? No, these never discover anything.
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- It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
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- There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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- Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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- I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
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- A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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- Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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- She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and gentle exterior burned inextinguishable fires of sympathy, energy, devotion, enthusiasm, and absolutely limitless affection.
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- Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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- Heroine: girl who is perfectly charming to live with, in a book.
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- Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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