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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
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- In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
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- Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
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- If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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- The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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- When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.
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- I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
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- Suddenly the nickel-clad horse takes the bit in its mouth and goes slanting for the curbstone defying all prayers and all your powers to change its mind - your heart stands still, your breath hangs fire, your legs forget to work.
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- Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.
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- I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
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- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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- If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
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- Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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- A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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- It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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- But we are all insane, anyway. Note the mountain-climbers.
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- Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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- I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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- Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century.
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- Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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