Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jealousy Quotes , Envy Quotes

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Marijuana Quotes

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Night Quotes

Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Wall Quotes

Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes

To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kind Quotes

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Death Quotes

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , German Language Quotes , Giving Quotes

A photograph is a most important document, and there is nothing more damning to go down to posterity than a silly, foolish smile caught and fixed forever.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Photography Quotes , Silly Quotes

Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doors Quotes , Weather Quotes

Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others-his last breath.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Lasts Quotes

Presbyterianism without infant damnation would be like the dog on the train that couldn't be identified because it had lost its tag.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Famine Quotes

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Friendly Quotes

The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Russia Quotes

...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a kind of an insurrection, anyway.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atmosphere Quotes , Language Quotes

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Life Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The old saw says, 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Right. Still, when there is much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Lying Quotes

Baseball is the very symbol, the outward and visible expression of the drive and push and rush and struggle of the raging, tearing, booming nineteenth century.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Baseball Quotes , Struggle Quotes