Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Birthday Quotes

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Birthday Quotes

If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Frogs Quotes

The Germans have an inhuman way of cutting up their verbs. Now a verb has a hard time enough of it in this world when it's all together. It's downright inhuman to split it up. But that's just what those Germans do. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it away over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German. from "Disappearance of Literature

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cutting Quotes , Hard Times Quotes

The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Humility Quotes

I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Two Quotes

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atoms Quotes

Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Humanity Quotes

Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

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There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Two Quotes

Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Government Quotes , Mind Quotes

All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Death Quotes

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Congress Quotes

I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world is grievously given to lying.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , People Quotes

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , Race Quotes

He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.

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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.

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Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Women Quotes , Men Quotes

All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Educational Quotes

All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity; strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Politics Quotes