Mark Twain Quotes, Grateful Quotes, Sleep Quotes

If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grateful Quotes , Sleep Quotes

I wish Europe would let Russia annihilate Turkey a little--not much, but enough to make it difficult to find the place again without a divining-rod or a diving-bell.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Russia Quotes , Europe Quotes

Man is the only religious animal. In the Holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of heaven, he has turned the globe into a graveyard.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Brother Quotes

Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Independence Quotes

I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Animal Quotes

Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Education Quotes

But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Brother Quotes

The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes we had brought from the wilds of America. They observed that we talked loudly at table sometimes. They noticed that we looked out for expenses and got what we conveniently could out of a franc, and wondered where in the mischief we came from. In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Eye Quotes

Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Memories Quotes

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Leadership Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Superstitions Quotes

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Taxes Quotes

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Morning Quotes , Jobs Quotes

It is a mystery that is hidden from me by reason that the emergency requiring the fathoming of it hath not in my life-days occurred, and so, not having no need to know this thing, I abide barren of the knowledge.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Needs Quotes , Emergencies Quotes

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Family Quotes , Father Quotes

I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Political Quotes

If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterwards act quietly in the matter according to the dictates of your better judgment.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Matter Quotes

There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Levels Quotes