Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Make your vacation your vocation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vacation Quotes

The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, "Where is the best place to go to?" He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it; and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Ideas Quotes

There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Two Quotes

The primary rule of business success is loyalty to your employer. That's all right as a theory. What is the matter with loyalty to yourself?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Loyalty Quotes , Business Success Quotes

You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Window Quotes , Habit Quotes

Put no trust in the benefits to accrue from early rising, as set forth by the infatuated Franklin.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , No Trust Quotes , Rising Quotes

I wish to become rich, so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kind hearted, fat, benevolent people do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Greed Quotes

You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Sass Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Ignorant Quotes

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes

Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , People Quotes

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Respect Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Salary Quotes

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Cute Quotes

Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Alive Quotes

One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Travel Quotes

from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vacancy Quotes , World Quotes