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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Battle Quotes , Wit Quotes
- When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder.
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- A wanton waste of projectiles.
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- Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn; and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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- Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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- Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
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- In literature imitations do not imitate.
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- We have the best government that money can buy.
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- There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
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- A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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- We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
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- To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth.
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- A great, great deal has been said about the weather, but very little has ever been done.
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- You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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- The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.
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- When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
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- When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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- There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.
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- Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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- A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
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