Mark Twain Quotes, Kentucky Quotes, Years Quotes

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kentucky Quotes , Years Quotes

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sanity Quotes , Reason Quotes

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Heaven Quotes

[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Speak Quotes

The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Salary Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Men And Women Quotes

Of all the unchristian beverages that ever passed my lips, Turkish coffee is the worst. The cup is small, it is smeared with grounds; the coffee is black, thick, unsavory of smell, and execrable in taste. The bottom of the cup has a muddy sediment in it half an inch deep. This goes down your throat, and portions of it lodge by the way, and produce a tickling aggravation that keeps you barking and coughing for an hour.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Coffee Quotes , Aggravation Quotes

They did not know it was impossible so they did it

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Attitude Quotes , Law Of Attraction Quotes

The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Average Quotes

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Morning Quotes , Jobs Quotes

Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Numbers Quotes

Some things you can't find out; but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Supposing That Quotes , Goes On Quotes

When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Native American Quotes , Son Quotes

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , 4th Of July Quotes

As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Able Quotes

Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it.

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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , Light Quotes

We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Beautiful Quotes