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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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- The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
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- Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.
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- When angry, count to a hundred.
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- Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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- Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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- Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
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- When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.
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- A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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- Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.
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- War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.
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- If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base
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- To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.
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- There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.
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- I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours.
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- It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
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- A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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- Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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- We can't reach old age by another man's road.
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- Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
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